Hello, my story is an ongoing one as I'm sure it is for all. I have a wonderful husband and beautiful twin girls that were born on the 4th of July, 2007. People would comment "Wow the day of Freedom and Independence" and we jokingly respond "Actually, its the day we LOST our Freedom and Independence" it's all in fun, we just adore those 2 little angels. Julia, our first born is your typical 3 1/2 year old, always playing and asking a million questions, and testing our patience, loving, caring and just an all around funny little girl. Loves to sing, dance and eat! Our little Veronica is ALWAYS smiling, she's the sweetest thing, very curious, loves to draw, sing, play with my iphone, and loves her daffy & bugs stuffed animals. When the girls were born, Veronica had to stay in NICU for 12 days due to some fluid in her lungs, our first heartbreak and a memory I prefer to forget. We were lucky, it was just an antibiotic she needed and everything else was fine. As time went by, we noticed that Veronica would not respond to her name when Julia would and had a hard time looking at us in the eye. You're told not to compare your kids but you do, they're twins, and although you know they'll develop different strengths at different times, this just didn't feel right. So when she turned 2 we took her for screening and they agreed with our suspicions. She had ASD symptoms and immediately qualified for speech and OT therapy as well as neurological testing. MRI was fine thankfully, but the VEEG showed a spike on the left side of her brain which the Neuro told us is the side that manages speech. We were told to watch for any behaviour that could resemble a seizure, more worries. To this day I'm happy to say, she has not had any such symptom. Well where are we today??? Not sure, she's transitioned out of certain help from the government but she started school last August and is in a program called LEAP in the morning and Head Start in the afternoon. I'm still not sure where Veronica falls on the spectrum. I see the communication and social deficiencies. She doesn't have a conversation or ask any questions, but she can repeat the alphabet, the numbers 1-20, all the colors, shapes and if I point to any of these things and ask her "Veronica, what's that?" she will respond correctly. But she wont ask me for anything, she will grab me by the arm and take me to where she wants something. She has yet to call me mommy. She just started recognizing that I AM mommy when I point to myself. She seems to be very 2 dimensional if that makes sense. She'll respond to what's going on, on the tv or computer, but not a live situation. She doesn't really play with other kids. If we go to a party, she either wants to hold on to me or go everywhere and touch everything. She's a runner, if I don't hold her hand when we go outside, she will run and run and run (scares me to death) Still not potty trained. Her sister Julia is one of her best therapists, she pulls her and drags her to run with her and engages her a lot. Sometimes she's in the mood and will run with her but she wont sit and play with her. She can't really sit still for a long time unless she's playing a computer game on my iphone or has found a new game that she's curious to learn more about. I feel like the real struggles are only beginning. I kept hearing from the Dr. and therapists and teachers, the earlier you get them in therapy etc. the better chance she has and I'm not sure what miraculous thing is supposed to happen but all I visualize sometimes is this countdown clock in the back of my mind that's telling me she's getting older and soon time will run out for her to get the proper help she needs NOW. I'm frustrated really. My insurance will cover speech and OT but not ABA which is what is now recommended for her. We really don't have the means to pay out of pocket. So I try to research and involve myself with information as much as possible to help her on my own when I can. Even that is sometimes hard. I stopped my career as an insurance agent after I gave birth and now only work part time in order to be available for my girls but it's tough. I have Julia that gets a little jealous when I try to spend some quality time with Veronica and well the cycle never ends.... This story turned into a venting towards the end, sorry about that, but I'm sure there are similar stories out there. Some better and some worse. I have to say, I know her situation is not the worst but it's MY little girl that it's happening to and I want the best for her and I see a lost little girl trying to be understood and I'm stuck sometimes on how I can help her more. She's so much better in looking at me in the eye, she will play one on one with me peek a boo games and will hug and kiss me and of course that melts my heart. Well that's the story so far, I'm happy to have places like Autismspot to connect with others and maybe just to vent and write what we're going through as a family...to be continued :)