In May, I posted some of my favorite quotes about motherhood and how I’ve come to see motherhood with a vastly different perspective in the years since Ethan was diagnosed with an Autism Spectrum Disorder, in my post Mother Love. I thought it would be fun to put together a similar post for Father’s Day, because I can guarantee that my husband now views “fatherhood” differently than before, too.
Let’s start with a little humor…
A father carries pictures where his money used to be. ~Author Unknown
Now this one made me Laugh Out Loud! My instinct tells me that the phrase was probably written by someone raising a typical child or teenager with standard needs and expenses. But, raising a child with ASD is exponentially more expensive! I know many parents who have sold their homes, emptied savings and college accounts, used up retirement savings and still went into debt to pay for necessary therapies, interventions, special diets and treatments. While this isn’t funny – in the least – it is humorous (I think) in the sense that I stumbled across this quote and thought to myself, “Awww, sweet Mr. ‘Author Unknown’ probably doesn’t know the half of it!”
But in all seriousness, “fatherhood” is much, much more than a fat wallet or a hefty paycheck.

Veteran producer, director and cameraman Charles Jones was speechless with excitement when he held his son for the first time. He put his feelings into words in his YouTube video “Autistic Like Me” at http://www.youtube.com/user/AutisticLikeMe

Why is it so hard for moms to take a break? Renowned child psychiatrist, Donald Winnicott (1896-1971) said that struggling with taking a break from maternal responsibilities is normal. “Primary maternal preoccupation is a consuming attachment to one’s baby, a normal sickness from which most mothers recover.” He was talking about the mothers of typical children—who presumably have a little less to be preoccupied with on the average than mothers of children who have autism and other special needs. So it’s normal, but when it goes on indefinitely, it’s not healthy.

“I am just so angry.” With his voice shaking, he said what other men in the circle were thinking and feeling. “When I get home and approach my son, he pushes me away. I can’t stand it anymore. He just wants his mother, and he pushes me away from her too. The other day I told my wife I am ready to sign my parental rights away.”

Yesterday, one of AutismSpot’s own Featured Bloggers, Psychologist Dr. Robert Naseef, flew through DFW after spending the weekend leading a conference for parents in El Paso. AutismSpot’s visionary Kent Potter took this opportunity to turn Dr. Naseef’s layover into some on-camera time with Dr. Naseef. I was fortunate enough to participate.
Dr. Naseef not only works with families raising children with ASD in the Philidelphia area, he also has an adult son with Autism. I heard Dr. Naseef speak last summer when he hosted a Father’s Panel at the annual conference hosted by the Autism Society. Dr. Naseef is very knowledgeable and forthcoming about what life is like for our families and ways to handle stress and make life better.

Shock + Fear = News?
A few weeks ago I was honored to play a role on a Fatherhood Panel at the 41st National ASA Conference. The gentlemen that participated were extraordinary. Fathers. Sons. Fathers and Sons. It was a very special time for all of us. Each panel member had the floor for a short bit and shared their personal story about the relationship with their father, what is was like raising a child on the Autism Spectrum, and what it was like having Autism. Each participant played one or multiple of those roles and this gave the panel a great deal of depth in my opinion.

The Potter family recently went through some renovations. An expansion has been underway for the past nine months and was completed with the birth of Olivia on May 18th.
Am I glowing? Can you see the rays of sunshine coming from your computer screen? Put on some sunscreen because we are all beaming with excitement. Olivia is perfection wrapped in a bundle of pink. Her brothers shower her with kisses, they fight over who will hold her, she is loved beyond all imagination. It's probably totally absurd how much she is loved and I like it that way.