The Rock has been taking swimming lessons lately with one of his rockstar teachers, Ms. Melanie. They hit the YMCA every Thursday. She is a swimming nazi - throwing him in, making him hold his breath and go under countless times, making him swim to her - no floaties, no noodle, no lifejacket - nothing. It's a routine - school, YMCA, back to Melanie's house for snack and his ABA program. When I pick him up he is worn slap out and pretty much stares at me in a self induced coma the rest of the night.
Last week was our spring break and we took the Rock and baby Colt 45 to the beach. We thought we'd see what Melanie has been working on so we made our way down to the pool. Immediately, Rock's body went stiff. He stopped in his tracks and started to scream. He knew what was about to happen and he was not happy about it.
Something you should know about the Rock - when he gets scared or nervous, he shouts "WANT TO GO POTTY" at the top of his lungs - even though he doesn't need to go. It's the attempt to escape whatever we are about to do.
So after our grand entrance (you can imagine), we are in the pool - the Rock is digging his little fingernails deep into my shoulder and clinging for dear life and shouting "WANT TO GO POTTY" over and over - at which now I'm sure everyone at the pool thinks my kid is peeing in the pool. Which he wasn't. I could get embarrassed and get out and let Rock have his way.
But that wouldn't be any fun now would it? Let's just see how much these poor folks can take.
He continued his "fake potty act" for a good 10 minutes. For some reason people started getting out and pretty soon we were the only ones in the pool. ha ha ha.
It took a while, but pretty soon he got himself together and began to swim back and forth between #1 dad and I. WANT TO GO POTTY turned into SWIM TO MOMMY, SWIM TO DADDY. Thank God.
If anyone was peeing in the pool, it was probably just lil baby Colt - hanging out in his little floating duck, smirking at the whole situation. Sometimes I wonder what he's thinking. Most of the time he's just laughing at his older brother - who is actually pretty funny.
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LOL
You really could could be a humor writer. I always laugh at your posts and it sounds like you see the humor in many of the situations.
Having the pool to yourself reminds me of how things work when we fly. We are a family of five and always fly "cattle class". They usually can't get us all together. I discovered by accident that if you hand the person sitting next to your child a puke bag and ask nicely if they can hand it to your child when necessary that they immediately jump up and insist that you take their seat. It never fails and I will admit to having done it at least once knowing that this would be the outcome.
It is sad because when I explained that my child was autistic and that I needed to sit beside her a man told me he wasn't giving up his aisle seat. However if you ask him to assist your child in catching her puke in a bag with 4 inch opening - Viola the seat is graciously offered
to you.
puke bag
bahahaha!!! That is hilarious! We haven't flown with him yet, but I will definitely remember that one!!!!!!! Or maybe - "ok then, well if my child holds you in a deathgrip chokehold when he gets scared during takeoff, just pull down your oxygen mask........"
flying
That will work too.
The first few times she kicked the security people when they got too close. It is a good thing she was cute with ringlettes.