It is frustrating to be at a loss for words in an important situation. This happens to everyone at some point in life. You are trying to make a good impression during a job interview, maybe you just met someone of great importance, you have the chance to finally talk to that girl you have been wanting to meet, or you are just trying to say thank you when someone grabbed you a bottle of water from the cooler after a game. Wait a minute. All of these sound like situations where people would typically get nervous except for one......simply saying "thank you" after someone did something nice isn't so bad. Why would that be such a frustrating scenario?

I have to be honest, I can't really explain how frustrating it feels when the words don't come to you in a basic situation. Instead, I can tell you how much it hurts to watch someone else struggle with trying to get the words out and the rest of the world passes them by. Sam has an incredible vocabulary and is extremely sensitive and compassionate. Sam also has some of the very best manners of anyone you will ever come in contact with. I credit all of this to his wonderful mother. Don't get me wrong.....he is also your typical 7 year old who can find humor in the not-so-humorous situations. All in all...this kiddo has his act together. Except for one, small problem. The world moves very fast and this can make it hard for all of the words to come out no matter how hard he tries. This is one of the toughest parts about having Autism. Some of the challenges that he is faced with are not billboard obvious to the rest of the world. On the outside, everything looks just fine, no obvious "issues" and so you get the kids and adults who say "spit it out kid", "what's his problem?", "cat got your tongue", "what, you speechless or something." The world is can be tough sometimes.

Here is this gentle child wanting to say "thank you", "pardon me", "how are you doing", "it's nice to see you". As he tries mightily to get the words out....sometimes they just don't come. If you spend any time with Sam you will hear the whispers of the eloquent and proper as he is practicing saying these phrases to himself during a car ride, walking down the mall, or when he is sitting alone just practicing by himself. He practices, and practices, and practices. He tells me he is trying to get things right so people will like him. He doesn't want to disappoint someone and hopes to show them he is capable of so much.....but, the nerves get going, a persons lips starting moving, their eyes start to blink and stare, then there are different sounds going on around him, other people are talking, an elevator is opening, the air conditioner is running, a door just closed and he is taking in every single sound as if they are all vitally important and he can't drown any of them out. In all of the mass flood of information he is simply trying to get out, "Hello. How are you today?" The distractions make it hard to concentrate and with everything moving so fast and the outside noises being so unpredictable he just can't get the words out fast enough. Another missed opportunity. Another instance where someone just passes him by and he was longing to make a connection.

Here we are riding in the car to go see Nina and Coach before they head back to Romania. A dear friend of ours is having us over to her new home and her parents are visiting from out of town. They speak no English. Sam has come to love this kind and gentle couple who treat him like their own blood. The world isn't so scary right now because he knows what to expect. Nina and Coach don't ask for too much and they smile a lot. They give great hugs and are very patient. Not a lot of noises to contend with either. In the backseat, I hear Sam's little voice rise up, "I'm really excited to see them tonight."

Before the adults sit down together and share wonderful food and fabulous wine....there are gifts for the boys. A Spiderman 4x4 for Luke and a plane launcher for Sam. Perfect gifts from people who have been paying close attention to two little boys during their visit over the last few weeks. This is the language of love. It knows no borders, there are no dialects to contend with....it's universal.

Sam and Luke are truly excited and love being around Nina and Coach (a nickname Sam has come up with). It warms our hearts to see how much they love our boys. I am certain it is also very special for them to see how important their daughter is to both boys and to us. There were no words, no rush to get from one situation to the next. There were open arms, kisses on heads and lots of hugs. There was laughter. On the drive home, we enjoyed hearing the boys talk about how much fun they had and how they are going to miss Nina and Coach.

This was a life lesson for us all. There may have been very few words spoken that night...but the language of friendship, love and acceptance is something we all have in common...it's something we all need a lot of.