Last night Sam came cruising around the corner of our bathroom on Luke's Big Wheel with a race car driver's helmet on and full face shield in place. Sam noticed Luke had put on underwear before putting on his PJs. (Sam is 7 years old & has Asperger's and Luke is 3 1/2 years old & neurotypical...in case we haven't met, this is important to know) Yes, I did say Big Wheel and shower at the same time. We have Big Wheels and tricycles inside our house and the boys seem to dig it. I'm sure there is an etiquette book somewhere that says "ride on toys should be for outside use only." I am also (fairly) certain that said etiquette book doesn't take into account raising a child on the spectrum who craves sensory input that includes deep pressure and lots and lots of motion.

Luke was pulling up the pants of his favorite Batman PJ's and Sam looked at me and asked, "Why at 3 years old does he wear underwear to bed?"

Sam doesn't like others to know that he needs to wear nighttime pull-ups. At 7 years old, pull-ups are not cool and can cause a great deal of embarrassment. Although a lot of kids started having sleepovers with friends a year ago, it just hasn't been in the cards for Sam just yet. For the time being, Sam has not been faced with the situation of what to do if a sleepover invite occurs and how to handle the nighttime pull-up issue.

I looked at Sam and softly said, "Luke is able to keep from going potty in the night as he sleeps so this means he can wear his underwear. You'll be able to do this soon, I am sure. Right now, the medication you take sometimes makes it hard for you to hold it." Sam looked me straight in the eye and simply said, "OK." He backed up Luke's Big Wheel, dropped the face shield back down and road off into the other room. The moment Sam uttered the question I looked over his shoulder across the room and made eye contact with Angie. The painful look in her eyes said it all. This was one of those moments that so many special needs families face and is really, really difficult. It's not answering the question that is difficult....it's the fact that your 3 year old is able to do things that are more advanced than your 7 year old.

Some kids (whether they have special needs or not) require nighttime pull-ups into their teenage years. I have to be honest, although telling me this may give you the impression it will make me feel better about the situation, it doesn't. It simply intensifies the feelings that boil up inside when you realize even the simple things in life (like going to bed) can be a challenge for our kids. Sleep was elusive for a very long time. For a number of years Sam had to take melatonin to help him get ready to go to sleep. We were able to drop the melatonin but that didn't change the need for nighttime pull-ups. Sam has become such a trooper when it comes to taking his medication at night. Instead of having to crush the pill up in applesauce, he can now put it on the back of his tongue and swallow it with a glass of water. This is huge progress. The nighttime pull-up issue will be saved for another time.

After we finished reading his nighttime story, we prayed together and he reached up to give me a hug and kiss goodnight. When he laid back down and rolled over under his weighted blanket I heard the crackle that all diapers make. I closed my eyes and add a P.S. to the end of my prayer. That part is between me and God.