I'm sitting here listening to my two boys run around, play, and fight.... half laughing "You can’t get me, Batman!" and half yelling at each other "I told you to stop!!! MOM!!" Sam (7 1/2 years old, Asperger’s) and Luke (3 1/2 years old) are BUDDIES..... they play dress up together, chase, hide & seek, the Wii, wrestle, sword fighting.... usually ending in both laughter AND tears. My mom keeps telling me "You have been praying for a "normal" brother relationship.... and here it is!"

It's amazing to me that when Luke was born, and until the age of 16-18 months, Sam didn't even acknowledge his little brother was there. Sam never held Luke when he was a baby, never cuddled him, never really looked at him unless we bribed him with a bag of fruit snacks or took a family picture and posed them beside each other. It was heartbreaking. We were afraid that they would never be close. Kent and I both have close relationships with our siblings and we wanted the same thing for our boys. Everyone wants that for their family.

When Sam was around five years old we started incorporating Luke (age 18 mos) into our ABA programs. Our wonderful therapist, Christina, taught both Sam and me how to make it fun, non-threatening, and rewarding to spend time with Luke, one minute or one short activity at a time. Slowly we would increase the time limit or activity level, always with lots of praise and cheers. She even had the brilliant idea of videoing the two boys playing together during our sessions so that Sam could go back and watch the DVDs and remember those fun times they were having together. It was fun to see Sam learn to engage with Luke, even just for 5 seconds, and to watch that length of time grow. We read books about siblings, wrote and drew books about Sam and Luke as brothers, role-played, etc. Sam had such anxiety around Luke (and other babies and toddlers) because they are so unpredictable, made loud noises (and weird smells!) and got into his personal things. Over time, Sam has learned that Luke is his friend and his buddy, and how special it is to have a brother.

In some ways Luke and Sam are on the same emotional level, with Sam being less mature than other 7 year olds and Luke being more mature than most 3 year olds. It was hard when Luke surpassed Sam with his play skills and imaginary play as early as 18 months. But with continuous ABA and with the introduction of floortime last winter, Sam’s play skills are exploding and their play together is expanding. Together they jump on the trampoline, ride bikes and scooters, take bubble baths, put on rock concerts, and have slumber parties in Luke’s big bed. Together they play ice cream shop, school, artists, eye doctor, Hullabaloo, Tom & Jerry, superheroes, “silly face game”, video games, and of course, burping and giggling at each other just “like little boys do”.

Today, Sam is Luke’s greatest cheerleader and fiercest protector. He wants to keep Luke safe and also sticks up for Luke if he is getting in trouble. And, Luke feels the same way about Sam. He worships Sam and says that Sam is his best friend, and will narrow his eyes, furrow his brow, and say “Quit saying that to my brother!” if I have to reprimand Sam. They have a bond like no other, and as they grow together, will continue to fight and play and love and tackle, just like brothers do. We feel so blessed, and thank God every day for this miracle… the miracle of brotherhood.