Our EI provider had told us about an intensive service provider that would come to your house for up to 20 hours a week. Wow was I excited. She gave us the name briefly on the way out the door. I called their intake and made an appointment for a month later. In meantime I did one of my many google searches and looked up the organization. I read the "about us" and saw the word Autism. I remember thinking this can't be right, our EI just said they would do what she did, but Patrick would be able to get more hours of help. Not a word about Autism. But I kept the appointment and did some research. The more I read the more it sounded like Patrick. It explained everything about Patrick. The sleeplessness, the bad eating habits, the tantrums, not answering to his name etc., etc., etc. But still it just couldn't be him. He smiled and laughed.

So a month later, less than a month before Christmas, there we were. Patrick had slept well and the appointment was early in the morning. They were going to see him at his best. That would say he had some delays and give us some extra EI hours. I was in what I now call my denial fog. We were taken to the observation room filled with toys accompanied by our EI provider and the evaluator. Patrick did great. He played nicely alone with the toys she even got him to imitate answering the phone. She asked us a ridiculous amount of questions all the while observing Patrick.

She put down her questions and was ready to speak to us. Patrick was eligible for services. Fantastic I thought. As I had told Scott, my husband, all we went for is the services. In my research I found they had to make a diagnosis if he was going to be eligible for services. But who cared she wasn't a doctor. I was clueless, all I could see was help in sight. But then she starting talking about Patrick having staring spells and them possibly having absent seizures. And for the first time I was scared. A week later we got the report in the mall. I cried my way through it, "autism", "severe language delay", "global developmental delays", to name a few. The strange part was that I had a tiny sigh of relief. I knew nothing of what was to come. But I knew it now explained the past.