It has been a relatively stress-free summer. D thrives when there are few demands placed on him and he can spend his time as he pleases. And I let him-he is a kid, afterall-albeit quirky. Now school looms and change surrounds us.
Over the summer, my son hit some male milestones; a deepening of voice and subtle mustache growth. He also shot up and is now my height. He enters high school in two weeks, and that means a new class, new teacher, and new classmates. Even though the class is self-contained and small (10 or so students compared to 35) there will be anxiety for D and me. In many ways my son has matured and the negative autistic traits have lessened, but throw in hormonal and environmental changes and there is bound to be some strife. I expect some regression-to that safe place of indifference, where D follows his instincts. (Instincts = lashing out in defiance.) But he seems to know more of what society expects now, even if he finds it distasteful. I know the painful process of 'fitting in' is heightened as a teen tries to define self worth. I can only hope he will continue to seek guidance from me. It is a bittersweet fact that we raise our kids to leave us.
I feel D has made tremendous progress towards regulating himself, and observing social greetings. It warms my heart to see him offer a handshake to someone he just met, or sincerely thank a service worker as we leave an establishment. I credit his teacher with much of that social maturity. Four more years of school can be a blessing, or a curse-depending on the staff.
With a few minor dietary changes (like no cow's milk) and social discussions-infused with drama and humor, we can manage his negative autistic tendencies. I am confident that D will live on his own and find his niche in society. He will always be autistic, but he can learn to negotiate, even be happy and thrive in our society. And after all, that is what any parent wishes for their child.
As usual, I will start the school year with a sense of optimism and mutual respect. Maybe this is the year it sustains.