For about a year now, almost every time I meet a new family for consultative services or groups I get asked a variation on the following question: “Is my child going to be recovered?” and some times even “How fast is my child going to be recovered?” Now, while I understand a fear of the unknown and need for reassurance is part of the process, I also think that a lot of parents have been given the quick fix illusion by certain public figures.

In this day and age, we keep hearing about children who have “recovered” from autism by doing therapy A, or B or doing the diet C or D. Most of the times, the stories show how a child benefited from a certain intervention or diet and he or she “recovered” shortly after they started a particular treatment. I think those statements are irresponsible, send out the wrong message, and give parents the quick-fix illusion.

I am the first person to tell you that I strongly believe in the fact that every child can learn if taught the right way, every child can make progress if an eclectic intervention is implemented. I will also tell you that the process is long and hard. Autism is such a complex disorder and it requires a lot of hours of intervention spread across a long period of time. Our children have deficits in 3 major developmental areas: communication, social and cognition (due to lack of flexibility in their thinking and problem solving). Because we cannot address all these deficits at once and because some children learn slower than others, the process can be long and spread over years.

One of the most challenging areas of therapy is social skills. Social skills go beyond being able to take turns and share! Social skills are extremely complex instruments that we use throughout our life in order to function in a classroom or on a job, make and keep friends, and to organize ourselves in order to get through the day. Social skills include but are not limited to: being able to sit still for the duration of a story or lecture without engaging in repetitive, self stimulatory behaviors (singing, flapping hands, etc); being aware of our environment and watching what others are doing; knowing the unwritten rules of being part of a group; being able to reciprocate based on the behavior of the people around us and many, many more… Social skill therapy is challenging because it is very complex and because social skills are so dynamic – social rules and expectations change from one age group to another. Things that may be appropriate for a 4 year old may be totally unacceptable for a different age group. For example, it may be ok for a 4 year old to hug his friends but this behavior may not be tolerated by his adolescent peers.

Always keep in mind, although a child may be doing great and not need a lot of therapy, maintaining a certain level of support is the responsible thing to do!

I have seen parents get caught in the quick fix illusion and I have also seen them crash. Setting huge goals for a short period of time and putting all your hopes in one specific “fast” intervention or diet cannot end in anything else but frustration for you and your child.

I encourage all my clients (parents) to set high, realistic expectations for their children!

I also encourage them to brace for the long, hard road ahead!