Who would have thought watching the Rock give another kid a bloody nose would end up in a dinner invitation?
Last day of school for the year. To celebrate, I take Rockstar to the local bouncy house establishment - Pump It Up. I lovingly refer to it as "Germ It Up" because there are no telling how many 24 hour viruses are crawling around that place. Kids galore. Smells like the inside of a shoe. Awesome.
Everything going smoothly. Not many people here yet. Oh crap - here comes two kids in the bouncy Rock was in. He gets fired up. Starts to chase one of them. And although he thinks it's playing - shoves a little boy against the side. His nose starts to bleed. He is screaming. Rock is laughing. Great.
The bleeder's dad comes around the corner and they head off to the bathroom. When the gushing has stopped and they return, I give him the condensed "I'msosorryhehasautismanddoesn'tunderstandthatitstoorough" speech. I even offer to let the bleeder push Rock back if he wants. I'm waiting for the dirty look before they head as far away from us as possible.
Suprisingly, bleeder's dad explains that he's a professional skateboarder and actually coaches a little boy with tourrettes and understands completely - "you know just like the guy on american idol". (Not even close to the same thing, but I will let it slide since there is blood involved). Rock is giving him the once over, as I still have him in a chokehold from explaining that if he pushes one more time we are going home. Skateboard man offers to take Rock on and coach him. I politely tell him that isn't such a great idea. He then asks me if he can take me to dinner sometime.
Now, besides being married to #1 dad and unable to accept his "flattering" invitation, let me just add that he has a shaved head, so many tattoos down his arms they look like sleeves, a nose ring, eyebrow ring, smells like a smokestack, and may have the slightest bit of bourbon on his breath. And possibly 10 years younger than I. Skater material. Totally my type. But, I'll take it. It's not often that Rock acting like a wildman attracts male attention (unless it's a security guard or store manager).
So after I politely explain the situation and before it starts to get awkward, to my delight, Rock gets rowdy again and I have to make good on my threat to go home.
As my autism mommy friends can relate - most of the time we are all........ hmmmmm, the words haggard, stressed, messy hair, smeared makeup, sweatpants come to mind. And if you're autistic child is with you, add profanity to the list. Certainly not "please hit on me" material.
I tell #1 dad about Skaterman and we have a good laugh while the munchkins splash around in the tub. He says - "and you were wearing that?" taking in my skull t-shirt (yes i'm 35 - it was cute).
I may start renting the Rock out as a dude or chick magnet for any single folks out there looking for their soulmate.
Might be a great way to pay for all his therapy.................just a thought :)