~ So there I was with a plate (and a mouth) full of pie, choking back some of the emotions that the holiday season is always sure to sweep in. This year, my baker’s therapy was recreating a family tradition (from my husband’s family), Oats ‘N Honey Granola Pie. The “real” recipe called for a full cup of corn syrup, ½ cup of brown sugar, chocolate chips, and the star of the show – honey & oat granola bars (which contain canola oil, corn flour, brown sugar syrup, soy flour, and soy lecithin – all ingredients that we no longer call “safe” for our Molly). This year, I created a basic gluten-free pie crust. I used my own homemade granola, replaced the corn syrup and brown sugar with blackstrap molasses and maple, chopped up a dairy-free dark-chocolate candy bar, and whipped up a delicious alternative. The pie came out of the oven and looked so close to the original I was instantly salivating. And I decided to name this end-of-the-year creation my “Good-Bye Granola Pie”.

In a previous time in my life, I would have chosen to do the right thing. I would have let that pie cool down and taken the beautiful, WHOLE pie to the family dinner. Not this year. My rule book for etiquette has become much more gray over the past few years. I swiftly grabbed a knife and cut out the perfect slice, greedily, selfishly, and happily. I cared not about its presentation at its final destination. I deserved this slice of comfort and, by golly, I was going to have it. And so I indulged.

When you are handed a life for your child that is so far removed from the one you had planned for them, there is a genuine heart-ache that stays with you, I think. I can so very easily bring myself to tears if ever left alone for any period of time, especially if I am anywhere close to accessing You Tube and typing in “Fix You” by Coldplay. I weep like a baby. Cooking healthy food that plays to the strength of my family's health is my therapy.

In true reflection of our health this year, our daughter is having a great year! We found a perfect fit for her school-year (eventually), we have continued to make progress through biomedical remedies and diet this year, and we consider oursleves so very blessed to be on the high-functioning end of the spectrum – truly blessed! At the end of the day, what saddens me more than anything is reflecting on those friends we have lost along the way on our journey. The large bumps on the road of diagnosing a spectrum disorder and the choice to dive head-first into a not-always-popular treatment route, well, let’s just say those bumps can throw a few friends from the cart.

I get it. Honestly I do. We have made some very drastic changes to our outlook on traditional living (mostly, traditional eating). Being the “ALWAYS-bite-off-more-than-you-can-chew” kind of person that I am, I also [very close to simultaneously] jumped into a business of advocating for special-diets for kiddos like our Molly (began the year before last). You expect your free-time to diminish when you have a child, but add special-needs, a special-diet, and a start-up non-profit business to the plate and the term “free-time” is permanently kicked out of your dictionary. I mean - gone. Combined, I totally “get” that I am not the same type of friend that I once was. I guess I just never really thought about the battle we would face with skeptical family members and "annoyed" friends. I guess I just expected a larger number of those friends to truly sympathize and respect our situation from a place of love, especially those friends who share a struggle with special-needs children. Many did just that. Sadly, some did not.

So, there I was with a plate (and a mouth) full of pie, choking back those emotions that the holiday season is sure to evoke. I thought back on all of the ingredients we have cleared from our pantry in the past years. I laughed at the analogy of cleaning out our pantry, reflecting on how we had cleaned out the proverbial pantry (of friends) as well. I was so thankful, in that moment, for the path that had been laid out before us. I was so thankful for the even stronger bonds our journey has created. I couldn’t help but think of the New Year’s song, “Auld Lang Syne”. I started humming it to myself while I took slow and meaningful bites of the delicious Good-Bye Granola Pie. With each bite, I bid farewell. It wasn’t a bitter good-bye, but rather a resolute and a heart-felt farewell to the small heart-aches left by less-than-supportive people {forgiveness}, and wishing each and every single passed-friend a life full of people who would show them support and love through everything life shows them - just a simply, healthy good-bye.

I wish everyone a 2012 full of supportive friends and loved ones, and I hope that you can make peace with those who have let you down. Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind; and should 2012 be a year to celebrate those who have truly been pillars of support!

Good-Bye Granola Pie (gluten-free, dairy-free, soy-free, cane-sugar-free)

Crust:
½ cup + 2 tablespoons Spectrum Organic Shortening
1 ½ cups gluten free all-purpose flour
5-6 tablespoons ice cold water
pinch of sea salt

Filling:
¾ cup pecans, finely chopped
¾ cup gluten free granola (store-bought or homemade- I made mine with GF Oats, Sunflower Seeds & Organic Maple Syrup)
1 Enjoy Life Dark Chocolate Candy Bar, finely chopped
2 large eggs (or 1 heaping tablespoon Egg-Replacer Powder mixed with ¼ cup water)
pinch of sea salt
¼ cup gf rolled oats
½ cup black strap molasses
2/3 cup raw honey
½ cup coconut oil, melted (or Earth Balance Soy-Free)
2 teaspoons pure vanilla
pinch of sea salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees.

Crust:
Measure out your shortening and using a small measuring spoon, scoop small sections out into a freezer-safe bowl, just to separate the shortening into small sections. Place the bowl of shortening pieces in the freezer for 15-30 minutes.

Using your food-processor, mix together the flour and salt. Begin dropping in the cold pieces of shortening, stopping to scrape the sides when needed. Your mixture will look like course crumbs. While mixing on low speed, drizzle in the cold water, starting with 5 tablespoons and adding the extra tablespoon if needed. The dough should form pea-sized pieces and eventually begin pulling together into a ball of dough.

Roll out the dough (I like to use extra flour and parchment paper) and place into a lightly greased pie pan, cutting off excess dough around edges and pinching or forking your favorite design around the edges. (I’m a pincher.)

For the filling:
Melt the butter or oil and pour into a large mixing bowl. Stir in the molasses and honey. Beat in the eggs (or egg replacer mixture), salt, and vanilla. Now, stir in the granola, oats, pecan pieces, and chocolate pieces. Pour into the crust-lined pan.

Bake your pie at 350 degrees for 40-50 minutes, or until set. During the last 15 minutes, you may need to cover the crust if it is getting too brown.

Let pie cool for 20 minutes to set. Serve warm or cold, and enjoy every sweet and nutty bite of this Good-Bye Granola Pie!

~Happy, Healthy Eating in 2012~
Kendra Jean Finestead, Fouder
Greater Tots Organization
www.greatertots.org