Important for Me, Important for You

I can’t remember a single class in high school where I had a peer with a disability. I can remember the kid with a disability that was the varsity basketball “manager”. I did not know him. I never talked to him. I never talked to him about how much he loved going to the basketball practices and how much he loved shagging balls for the team. I never asked him what it was like to sit with the team during a pep rally. I was not his friend.

I can remember passing the guy with cerebral palsy in the busy halls each and every day. I remember that he smiled and laughed a whole lot and was usually accompanied by an adult. I don’t remember his name. I don’t know what his favorite movie is. I don’t know what his favorite food is. I never interacted with him. I was not his friend.

I can remember the young man that was an alum at my high school that attended every single home football game. Every single one. I can remember him cheering louder than anyone. I can remember him moving his arms to the beat of the marching band music. I can remember the joy in his eyes when the band marched on the field. I never talked to him. I was not his friend.

I can remember walking past the resource classroom on the way to geometry class and seeing the small student to teacher ratio and seeing the kids with disabilities sitting alone and working alone. I always wondered if they were lonely. I always wondered what their lives were like. I was not friends with any of them. I can’t remember a single class in high school where I had a peer with a disability.

We all know how incredibly important it is for our children with autism and other disabilities to be surrounded by their “typical peers”. At KidSpeak, we find this so crucially important for socialization and social development that we rarely offer a five-day a week therapy program. If a child does a KidSpeak program two to three days a week, this leaves them plenty of time to be with their typical peers whether that be at a typical school, on play dates, at Mother’s Day Out, within their community or with family and friends. We all know how important it is for children with learning differences to be around their typical peers but do we ever think about how important it is for our typical children to be around others with differences?

I am incredibly blessed and get to tag along with one of my friends while he is at his typical preschool setting three days a week. When my friend was enrolled within this setting, I can remember the relief I felt that finally, he would be around typical peers and get to learn from them. I have come to realize that not only is my little friend learning from HIS peers, but his peers are learning from HIM.

At first, I began to notice little things. A few of the other children were kind of taking on a “big sister” or “big brother” role with my little friend and that really touched me. They could tell he was a little different and they wanted to help. Then I began to notice even more.

-A few of them know that sometimes my friend doesn’t verbally respond all the time. They have learned to tap his arm and repeat his name. Sometimes my friend will respond and sometimes he won’t. Sometimes one little guy will even say, “Do you hear me?!?! Are you gonna answer me?!?!?” Sometimes my friend answers, sometimes not. At least his peers are AWARE of this.
- One little girl in particular knows that my friend LOVES Little People and all the dollhouse figures. She’ll walk right over to him and hand him three or four people just because she knows he loves them.
-One friend made a comment about my guy, “He doesn’t talk like a big boy.” I explained that, “Ya know. Sometimes he does talk like a big boy and sometimes he needs our help. It’s okay. Sometimes we all need a little help.” The little friend turned and looked at me and said, “Well alright!”
-A few of the kids have noticed that my friend has some fine motor difficulties. At snack time, one little girl handed my friend his straw and said, “You can do it! Put the straw in the cup! There ya go!!” At snack all the kids are supposed to unfold their napkins into a “big square”. Sometimes my guy has a little trouble with this. The same little girl, took my friend’s napkin and said, “There ya go! I’ll help ya!” At the pretend area in the classroom, I’ve seen the little girl that frequents the princess dresses help my guy slip a little police outfit over his head and fasten it in the back. This is magical.
-One little guy follows my friend around the playground like they are buddies for life. It is incredible to watch them on the slides and to see my friend start to notice more and more what his typical peer is doing.
-My little guy has a tendency to scream and cry instead of explaining in words how he feels when he becomes frustrated or upset. His classmates constantly hear me modeling emotion words like, happy, excited, mad and nervous. One little guy was listening to us play and asked me, “Does he feel nervous today?!?!” This emotional awareness nearly knocked me over. Amazing.

So not only have my friend’s typical peers began to notice how my friend may be a little different than them, but they are learning to adapt to these things, they are learning to HELP him and best of all, they are learning about who he is, what he likes, what he doesn’t like and that he is their FRIEND.

Sure, they began to notice my friend was different from them but they are young enough (three and four years old) to not judge him for it. They accept him with open arms, think he is fun and look forward to seeing him three days a week. They are his FRIENDS. They KNOW him. They know what he likes. They know what he doesn’t like. They know what things are challenging for him. They know in a way, how he ticks. With a friend with autism in their class at a very early age, I know that these typical kids have an awareness and acceptance of others that may be different then they are and this will follow them through their entire lives. I wish this for all children.

~Laura & Amanda
KidSpeak, LLC
www.kidspeakdallas.com