Some people just don’t get it. Many of you out there know what I’m talking about. (For those of you who don’t, just skip this article; I’m probably talking about you.) Sometimes, people make noises like they get it, then they let something slip out that tells you that no, they really don’t get it. You try to hand the facts to them, and they just drop them. They might want to hold onto them or they might not, but either way, what you explain to them ends up cracked and sloppy on the floor like a dropped egg.

Let’s tie this tirade to some actual events.

After an increase in the dosage of two medications, Isabella started developing verbal tics, so we stopped all of it, not really knowing which one started it. As an aside, if anyone tells you that facial grimaces or lip smacking or verbal tics (e.g. saying “skih” or “tsk” or the like repeatedly) is to be expected, pick up a wet fish and smack them in the face. It’s not okay to ignore these, as it may be a sign of developing tardive dyskinesia, possibly caused by medication. With a name like that, it’s got to be pretty bad. If this happens, contact your doc to tell them about your concerns (and bring your wet fish, just in case). Whatever you do, don’t ask me about it; I had to look it up on the ‘net to see how to spell it.

Anyway, since Isabella’s been off her medication, she’s struggled with a few tasks a bit more than before. Part of it might be due to allergies and to the schedule disruption from a long overseas vacation, but I don’t think that’s all of it. Because of this, we’ve had a few more conversations with people about her condition.

I think it’s hard for some people to accept that our kids don’t do certain things because they’re incapable of doing them -- or at least incapable of doing them easily or efficiently.

“That kid just doesn’t want to do that task, right? He’s just being lazy.”

Yeah, just like the lady in the wheelchair is too lazy to stand up and walk up those stairs.

I forgive those who want to understand but just can’t. There are plenty of things that I’ll never get, so I can’t really blame others (or at least I shouldn’t).

“Will she grow out of that?” was one question from a friend who fell in this category. I started to pull my fish out but then put it back, instead deciding to pop her with a rubber band.

CARRIE EDITORIAL COMMENT: you did not… you weren’t even there

MATT EDITORIAL REBUTTAL: oh yeah, you told me about that. But I would have done that if I had been there

CARRIE EDITORIAL REBUTTAL REBUTTAL: no you wouldn’t have

MATT EDITORIAL REBUTTAL * 3: no, I guess not. But I would have verbally popped her… right in the eye

Another friend suggested helpfully that if we had just worked with Isabella hard enough, she would not only know how to do a given activity, she would enjoy it too. They also helpfully implied that we were in fact not already doing that. I then helpfully implied that they should have gotten their will in order before they talked to me, because it was too late now.

OK, so I actually didn’t say that, but I wanted to. Instead, Carrie and I explained how Isabella doesn’t perceive the world like we do, and inferring intentions based on her actions (or inactions), without considering her condition, was a bad idea. She might avoid a given activity not because she doesn’t want to do it but rather because it’s overly difficult for her.

“Maybe you should just show her.”

Maybe I won’t thaw the fish out before I hit you with it.