Elementary school was like a bad dream at times. Teachers were not prepared to deal with my autistic son. Educators truly need to be trained in the most appropriate strategies for teaching our kids. There is already a surge of spectrum kids in school and the stats say there will be many more. The system needs an overhaul.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but middle school has been a nightmare compared to elementary's bad dream. You are no longer dealing with one to three teachers, but 7 to 9 different teachers. Communication is complicated. IEP's are not always followed. Not to mention the crowded, loud, middle school hallways complete with middle school-mentality antics. You remember middle school; personally, you could not pay me enough to relive those humiliating years...but this is not about my issues. But I do have issues with throwing our kids into that mix.
If the system does not change the way they teach spectrum students, then you (as parents) are destined to live some of the same hellish episodes Angela and I have endured. Even if your child does not exhibit aggressive tendencies, you will eventually encounter a situation where the school seems to have all the power in how your child is treated. It can be infuriating. You feel angry, helpless and certain that your child has rights. Ironically, any professional worth his/her salt will admit that the parent is an expert on their own autistic child and idiosyncrasies. But do they listen?? No, they think we baby them, or that our kids have us bamboozled, or that we are a pain in the ass who enables their child. Sadly, most only care about their professional power or that they 'know' how a child SHOULD act. Egomaniacs perhaps?
Our kids thrive emotionally, socially and academically when they can form meaningful, trusting relationships with the adults in their life. Do you think that is happening when the teacher also has 35 other kids??-whose hormones are raging, by the way. I don't even think it is fair to make a teacher responsible for such a monumental task as double-teaching. Our kids think differently and therefore learn differently. Our kids need specialized social skills training. Why do we throw them out into the roughest crowd in society (yes, middle & high school pressure) and think they can survive? As an adult, my son will likely stay away from crowds and crass people. I am more interested-as a parent and a teacher- in teaching our kids how to make personal connections, learn to trust and make friends. This will not happen in a big, typical secondary school.
Remember the angst you felt as a typical teen? Imagine how it would be for a spectrum student. Inuendo is lost on them, as is most sarcasm. They are the one that is different and therefore picked on; the brunt of many jokes. They are not 'street smart' so our kids act out in retaliation and get punished due to their reaction. (Need I say 'autistic reaction' or manifestation?) Bullies love our kids. My son acts out when his acute sense of fairness is attacked. That could mean a kid calling him an undeserved name or a teacher arbitrarily changing the rules. Both attack his innate sense of fairness so he attacks back-not literally (but there was a time he was physically aggressive); he will scream and curse, though. I am sick of educators and administrators and behavior specialists who only care about compliance. These are souls you are nurturing here-please remember that and change your paradigm! I am not too proud to beg for change, for I am a mother, doing what is right by her son. Semper Fi (always faithful) ~a