After attending many meetings with parents of children on the spectrum, I hear the same story time and time again. It goes something like this:

"I knew something was wrong. I couldn't quite put my finger on it. Little Junior wasn't talking or meeting milestones, but it was more than that. I got up the nerve to ask my pediatrician. He/She said, 'Mom, you worry too much! Little Junior is a boy / was premature / is your first child / is your second child / is a unique individual. He/She isn't going to do everything on time. Boys are always later than girls. Second children always talk later. He/She will talk when he or she wants something! Your little one senses your worry and will talk / meet milestones when you relax.' After that, I was embarrassed to bring it up again. If only I had known earlier....."

What a sad story. Moms and dads blaming themselves for not questioning a pediatrician who should have heard their concerns and looked deeper. Why does it have to be this way? When it comes to autism, sometimes I feel like we're back in the 1800's with old wives' tales abounding!

Furthermore, what child has EVER been hurt by early intervention. Have you ever heard a parent say, "If only we hadn't done that speech therapy, Little Susie would have had more time to watch Barney. Now she's ruined for life." I didn't think so.

I was one of the few lucky ones. My pediatrician said, "Let's worry about diagnosis later. It's too early now. It's NOT too early for intervention. Let me get the paperwork." We were signed up THAT DAY. No "Come back in 3 months and we'll see." I have no doubts, no regrets, and no anger. What I do have is gratitude.

At a follow up visit a couple of months later, she asked where we were in the process. She also noted further delays and sent us to many different specialists. It didn't seem to bother her what my insurance company felt about her! She went with what was best for my child.

THAT, my friends, is a pediatrician.

We are in the process of moving now, and I don't know what I'm going to do without her. She has made sure we've made the rounds in the medical community. She has left no stone unturned. Each time I hear that sad story at a group meeting, I slip her number to that parent. (Please forgive me, Dr. L., as you will soon be overrun with many special needs kids. Of course, they need you, and I know you'll take great care of them even if you have to see patients 24/7!)

Recently one of R's therapists called me. She wanted to know the name and number of Dr. L. As I gave it to her, she explained that she was seeing a child in a rural area whose mom was in tears because she KNEW something was really wrong, yet felt ridiculed by her pediatrician for her insistence. The therapist said that she, too, KNEW something was wrong....possibly terribly wrong with this child. The parent made an appointment with Dr. L. the following week for 10 AM. She left the office at 3 PM with 2 specialists' appointments the next day. The child had a serious metabolic condition that should have been caught before she left the hospital. Now at 2 1/2 years old, she was suffering from multiple issues due to being untreated. Dr. L. caught it right away. Something about the child's eyes clued her in, and she wouldn't let the parent leave the office without immediate appointments for the next day. This child's life was likely saved (though she will be affected forever by damage already done) because of Dr. L.

Because of Dr. L, we have seen a urologist, a cardiologist, a gastroenterologist, an ENT, a podiatrist, an immunologist, a neurologist, a developmental pediatrician, a geneticist, and a pulmonologist. All were needed at one time or another, and I never had to ask. Many pediatricians don't even realize that children with autism tend to have other physical health issues.

At R's 18 month checkup, I was automatically handed the M-CHAT. (It is given to all 18 month olds and 2 year olds at well visits.) By the time she entered the room, I handed her the test with a knowing look. She already knew, as did I, what we were looking at. She said, "Well, this is no big surprise here, is it? The bad news is that I don't diagnose these types of things. The GOOD news is you have an appointment sometime in the next 2 weeks as I had already called and scheduled you with my friend who is a developmental pediatrician. You will have a diagnosis very soon. The WONDERFUL news is that you have a year head-start. We've been doing early intervention since age 6 months, and even without a diagnosis, we were already treating the problems we know exist."

Wonderful news from a wonderful pediatrician who has the sense to listen when parents talk. Pack your bags, Dr. L., you're moving to Dallas with me!